Opinion: don’t deal with a shitty dealer

Don’t do what Donny Don’t does

I got a new dealer recently and he’s great. He comes around when he says he will, he’s good with communication, he’s friendly and down for a chat, but most of all: he knows what he’s selling well and has a dedication to quality. I have to say, it’s made our lives a hell of a lot easier and happier.

QUIZ: Are they a friend, dealer, or friendly dealer?

Everybody has had a shitty dealer at some point. We all know what it feels like to be waiting around for a call that never comes, to fork out for a quart of the stuff you got last time to find out that this batch is nothing like the one before, to get halfway through a bag and say “never again” only to be pushed by desperation back to that same source.

It’s a part and parcel with the prohibition model – an unregulated, illegal market has no quality control. There’s no watchdog sitting over the heads of the herbslingers keeping an eye on the quality of their buds; it’s just simple supply and demand. That’s why it’s so refreshing when you come across a good dealer, someone who treats what they’re doing with an air of professionalism and dedication.

It is, when you think about it, a job. These people that we regularly visit or are visited by provide us a service in exchange for cash, just like any other commercial venture in the world around us. We expect good service and a good product from our local store, so why not hold our dealers to that same standard?

Sure, it’s different because weed is still illegal in Australia, and so the same governing bodies that regulate your local store probably won’t go knocking on your dealer’s shopfront to check if his produce is fresh and healthy (one day…), but that doesn’t mean that dealers shouldn’t operate on the same principles that almost every other vendor in society does (or supposedly does): a dedication to customer service and quality.

Let’s be honest: if you’re regularly selling pot and you’re not an idiot or a shopaholic, you’re gonna be making some pretty good money. If you’re making that much money, you can afford to be a bit more dedicated and committed to your trade. Because dealing isn’t that hard. It’s risky, yes, but certainly not hard. In the best case scenario you sit at home with a mountain of bud and wait for people to bring you money, in the other scenario you’re an overpaid delivery driver. Suffice to say, the money you get is pretty damn good for what you’re doing.

This is not to slam dealers as a whole: we need them. Ideally we wouldn’t, but in our state of prohibition they are the link between us smokers and our herb.

So it’s important to acknowledge what they do and the extra risk they take in delivering us our weed, but that doesn’t mean we can’t hold our dealers up to scrutiny. The way it’s going, we’re going to need our dealers for a while yet, but that doesn’t mean you need to support a shitty dealer. A bad dealer isn’t going to get better if you keep giving them money. If the product is consistently bad, the service limited and the prices questionable, then hit up your friends for another source. You might as well give your money to somebody who’s doing it right.

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