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Rant: Australia! Where the good weed at?!

“It infuriates me that this is the standard we have to accept in Australia”

I’m on a never-ending quest to find good weed. I say never-ending because every time I do find a source of good weed it gets tapped in about a week or so and I’m back to that regular old crap that circulates the city. You know the kind I’m talking about: the dense brownish nugs with a few pale orange hairs and next to no visible crystals, the kind that has almost no smell until you break it apart and even then it’s a blunt musty kind of smell, not the sweet aroma of Mary Jane.

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Most dealers refer to it as “Asian” weed, and so too do the smokers. The name comes from the Vietnamese gangs that supposedly produce this crappy weed, but I’d be willing to bet it’s not just Vietnamese gangs pumping out shitty weed – it’s all the gangs.

Ignoring the racist sentiments behind the title, “Asian” is essentially a euphemism for bad weed in Sydney. I’ve had dealers say to me, “I’ve got some good stuff at the moment,” (Blueberry Kush supposedly) and then say, “I’ve also got some Asian as well.” The fact that this dealer stocked both is indicative of how common this shit is, and the fact that she drew a distinction between them is indicative of how bad this shit is. I don’t use that word lightly — this stuff is shit. It’s mass-produced crap, grown to turn a profit and nothing else. I doubt that anybody who’s involved in the growing process actually smokes the stuff (they’d be stupid to) and they certainly don’t give two fucks about their customers.

It infuriates me that this is the standard we have to accept in Australia.

I blame prohibition. I know I sound like a broken record, but for fuck’s sake can we legalise or at least decriminalise this shit already? Take the power from these shitty, antisocial gangs and allow us to get some good weed already.

OPINION: Can we hurry up and legalise all drugs already?

With acceptance and regulation of weed comes quality control, and a whole economy and lifestyle built around the production of excellent weed. Just look to the USA and the booming cannabis industry. Visionaries and entrepreneurs over there are working on all sorts of ways to administer the good stuff, including cannabinoid-infused edibles and drinks, and they’re doing it with a dedication to producing quality products.

The reason? They have to. With the development of a recreational market has come a buttload of competition in the States. Companies that are producing cannabis products must compete with other companies producing cannabis products and if the history of capitalism has taught us anything it’s that consumers go where the goods are good. Granted that means different things for different people. Some people are looking for the cheapest, easiest way to get high, but others are committed to seeking out good products, grown with care and using the best ingredients. The most important thing, though, is that those consumers have a choice.

Here in Australia we do not.

Sure every once in while a good strain comes around and celebrations are had, but these instances are too infrequent to satisfy the regular smoker.

So please, Australia, legalise this shit already so we ents need not suffer the pains of “Asian” weed any more. Bring us into a state of enlightened drug policy so that I might waltz down to my local dispensary and purchase a container of low-THC gummy bears to go with my stick of Sour Diesel.

Granted these pleas are likely to go unheard, but still I make them. Let us have some good weed so I needn’t spend my life searching in vain.

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